Watch The Skies megagame ends with unexpected armageddon
London, UK - A recent run of the popular Watch The Skies megagame has ended in nuclear war between two countries -- until now not known to possess such weapons of mass destruction -- New Zealand and Colombia.
A source from the New Zealand team who asked not to be named for fear of in-game reprisals, stated the country’s Prime Minister had been hell bent on obtaining and using nuclear weapons from turn one. New Zealand, a country normally associated with lush green lands, JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit and more sheep than people, quickly became a desolate wasteland during Last Turn Madness.
The woman playing Colombia’s President at the megagame, Claire Roberts, told in-game reporters “I was stunned when New Zealand’s Prime Minister came over to our country during turn four and essentially accused us of harbouring dangerous aliens, which of course we weren’t.” Roberts went on to say “We were obviously hosting friendly aliens who were helping to cure our pig population of herpes in return for allowing our people to visit their space station for undefined experiments”.
Meanwhile, the hysterical Iranian leader and the North Korean Foreign Minister both took to the stage to call for peace and the cessation of violence that they claimed is normally associated with the Americans. This was perhaps a distraction as sources reported that at the same time as the impromptu press conference was being held, a joint force of Iranian and North Korean troops was invading Malaysia.
It is not immediately apparent why the Iranians and North Korean’s had decided to invade the erstwhile South Eastern nation, but we are hoping further details will come to light during the after-game social at the local pub.
The aliens, represented by Adam Terry, meanwhile were trying to explain, rather unsuccessfully, their position on the continued existence of the human race. Terry, also known as the alien collective’s leader, stated “We really don’t know what to do with the humans as they treat our ships like technology piñatas.” In between abducting non-played country’s citizens and providing cures for diseases that affect the Earth’s population, Terry said “If they’d just let us land on their soil we could talk to the humans, but they blow us out of the sky as soon as we come into range!”.
Sources from the Control team say the megagame organiser, James Ferris, was utterly disappointed in the human players for yet again nuking each other. It is understood that Ferris is considering removing nuclear weapons from the next run of the game, but fears players would not bother to play if they can’t bomb each other back to the stone age.
At the time of going to press, it looks like France is readying up to invade the UK via the Channel Tunnel, in order to “bring them back into the loving arms of the EU” according to the French Foreign Minister.
More details as we have them.
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